Testees
on FX
Episode Summary
WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT
It took the new FX show, Testees (Thursday, 10:00 p.m.
ET), all of two weeks to be named Worst Cable TV Show of the Week
for the second time.
In the November 6th episode, human guinea pigs Ron
and Peter test the effectiveness of a new super-strength glue. The simple task
goes horribly awry when Peter’s face is glued to Ron’s rear and no solvent
exists to free them. The pair is forced to go on with their lives like Siamese
twins joined at the cheeks. Peter definitely has the worse end of the deal. He
must squat as Ron walks. At night, he uses Ron’s rear as a pillow. Ron, on the
other hand, uses the situation to his advantage. He seduces a co-worker with a
fetish for disabled men and ends up sleeping with her … with Peter still stuck
to his buttocks. As Ron thrusts on top of the woman, Peter’s head bounces in
unison. “Ron can you finish already,” Peter screams, “we’re going on three
hours. Ron this is not my idea of a threesome. You’re going to break my
neck!” Eventually, a solvent is made that frees them, but Peter is forever
traumatized.
As if this storyline weren’t puerile enough, the episode also
contains a subplot which involves an underground sperm bank. When Ron and
Peter’s neighbor Nugget learns that sperm donors earn $500 per sample, he sets
up a sperm bank out of his friend’s bar. He creates a fake directory of donors
taken from glamour shots of male models and stores jars of his own semen in a
manila envelope. A buyer orders a large number of samples, and comes to the bar
to pick them up. Nugget presents the buyers with a large beaker full of his
semen. At the same time, the bar tender prepares a pina colada mix. As the
buyers run out in disgust, Nugget mistakenly grabs the plastic tub of coconut
milk while the bartender pours the semen into the blender. The episode ends
with Peter offering Ron a pina colada, which he happily drinks.
Between these two disgusting
gimmicks, there is hardly a minute in episode that does not offend. When the
camera isn’t focused on Ron and his bare buttocks, Nugget is obsessing over
sperm. Apparently, the writers of the show would rather have the audience
cringe instead of laugh. And viewers are turning away in droves. Ratings for
the fledgling show have been a disappointment for FX. Hopefully, the network
will soon yank the moronic show – one, it is to be hoped, that FX won’t soon
reproduce.
For vile toilet humor and sexually explicit content,
Testees has been named Worst Cable TV Show of the Week.
New to the PTC?
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